I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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