Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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