You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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