yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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