I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
