And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
