I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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