I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We got so high we made milksteak
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
