woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
we made out on top of his cat.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
