im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
