He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
