That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
