He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Randomize
