You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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