; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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