i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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