If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Randomize
