hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
