This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
