And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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