I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Randomize
