For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
