so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
