I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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