Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
