hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
