Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
