Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
