I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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