Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
