Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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