Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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