You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
