I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
