we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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