these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
