I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i believe in u and ur pee
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
