wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
