I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
