omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
