Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
