it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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