My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
