He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
