she smelled like a LAN party
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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