i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
