Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i think i have two assholes
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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