just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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