His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
