why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
