Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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