dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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