Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
